Jokes - 3

Question: What's the best thing about turning 65?

Answer: No more calls from the insurance salesman!

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Sally: What do all the smiths in the phone book have in common?

Jimmy: They all got phones!

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Wife: You delivered an excellent speech

Husband: Thanks dear, but the audience was full of fools and idiots

Wife: That is why you addressed them as brothers and sisters!

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Daddy: How are you getting on at school, Ram?

Ram: Jolly fine, Dad, centre forward in sports and right back in studies!

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A typical student flips a coin and thinks:

If I get heads - I will go to sleep

If I get tails - I will watch a movie

If the coin stands - I will study

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You know your kids have grown up when: Your daughter begins to put on lipstick or your son starts to wipe it off!

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Employee: Sir, please increase my salary. I recently got married.

Boss: The company can't compensate for accidents outside the company!

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Question: What's the next thing one should do after winning an arguement with wife?

Answer: Apologise!

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Professor: Could you please pay a little attention?

Fresher: I am already paying as little attention as I can!

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Question: Why are men with pierced ears better prepared for marriage?

Answer: They have experienced pain and also bought jewellery!

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Question: During the marriage ceremony, why is the bridegroom made to sit on a horse?

Answer: He is given the last chance to run away!