Young Doctor: Well, Dad, now that I am beginning my practice, can you give me some rules of success?

Father: Always write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills clearly!


Law Professor: Which is the most important law of finance for starting a new business?

Student: Father-in-law!


The surgeon enters the operation theatre with a garland in hand,

Patient: What are the flowers for?

Surgeon: If the operation is successful it is for me. If not, it's for you.


Question: Where are happiness and contentment always found?

Answer: In the dictionary!


Question: How do astronauts play badminton?

Answer: With space shuttle!


Professor: Why is our geometry lecturer successful in life?

Student: Because he knows all the angles in life.


Question: What did the baby corn say to the mother corn?

Answer: Where is pop corn!


Question: How did the telephone operator propose to his girl friend?

Answer: He gave her a Ring!


Question: What do you call two banana peels?

Answer: A pair of slippers!


Man: Is there a medicine to ensure a long life?

Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?

Dr: No, but the thought of a long life will never come to you again!


Question: Why should you not tell a secret if you are near a clock?

Answer: Time will Tell!


Question: What happened to Beethoven after he died?

Answer: He decomposed!


Question: Why are computers like men?

Answer: As soon as you decide on one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model!


Boy: Where did you get those big eyes?

Girl: They came with the face!


Question: What is the difference between ignorance and indifference?

Answer: I don't know and I don't care!


Wife: Honey, Would you have married me if my father hadn't died and left me a fortune?

Husband: Don't be silly! I would have married you no matter who had left you the money.